My Diaries

(October 2017)

October 29

The Difference between Humans and Beasts

This morning I rode my bike to a nearby village called Nanshuanglin again to buy some vegetables. On the road forward I saw already three dogs playing there and one was trying to jump upon another, apparently for mating. On the way back, I saw these two dogs were already mating for a time, because their sex organs were already mixed up and were standing there standstill. The third dog was staying there too, looking here and there. Dogs and other animals have no sense of shame so far as sex is considered.

Likewise, so far as sex was concerned, the ancient Chinese, and perhaps, many other kings, emperors and lords, were more or less likes those shameless beasts, because they could officially and openly recruit or otherwise get hold of many women - some even in tens of thousands (the emperor in China's former Tang Dynasty was rumored to have 40 000 cucumbines - that is, female sex slaves or prostitutes) - just for sex, without any sense of shame.

Therefore, the more power a human has, the more beastlike he/she is.

Shamelessness is also measured how delicately covered his/her body is in front of other human. While a dog needs not to cover him/herself at all with any clothing, a man or woman needs to cover him/herself to cover his/her sex organ in front of others, to a degree how shameful he/she feels. The more beastlike, the less covered, and the nude is the most beastlike being in our society.

Disappearance of Religions

Religions appeared in human history because people have no ideas how to cope with many things n their lives, due to lack of understanding and knowledge. Along with the development of science and covilization, there is no need to call upon various manmade gods for help.

Another function of religions is their organization of people and the collective gathering to enjoy some kind community life, to dispell the solititude of a single person or a single family and sometime to ask for help from other members of the religious groups. At thoese early days religious groups are the only places for community gathering. But now people have plenty choices of coming together and there are numerous society groups to share all kinds of activities. Therefore religions are playing less and less roles in human society and at the end it will be no more useful at all.

The socalled bible is full of nonsense, lies and conflicts in contents. And in christian churches there are also not the love you're looking for. Instead they are no more better than those outside. They are cruel, selfish and hypocratic just like many others. If Chritians are loving, they won't kill millions of people around the world.

I predict all religions will disappear in about 300 years.

The Death of Human Race

Among billions years of the earth, there was guessed that several advanced civilization higher than ours were generated before us. And how long our civilization will last? And what will be cause of destruction? I myself tend to think that the current civilization will only last for another three hundreds years or less, and the cause will be very likely a nuclear war triggered by some isolated dictators such as the Chinese rulers. When China is becoming very powerful then there are inevitably conflicts with the other world and because Chinese rulers refuse to merge into the rest of the world, war is inevitable, and if at time of war, the Chinese leader is crazy and too confidential, then he might use nuclear weapons. North Korea is another threat to the civilization, but it has not yet developed the necessary capacity to challenge the entire world.

At any rate, civilization will not exist forever. They cannot outlive the previous ones and the more developed, the shorter.

Social Capitalism

We human is born all equal, regardless of her/his race, nation, religion and whatsoever. GOD - the allmighty one who governs all the natural laws - does not allow that some of us are too powerful or too rich or both and some of us are too weak or too poor or both and some of us can control others or some of us are surpressed by others by whatever means.

Therefore any nation where there is a huge gap between the poor and the rich and between the powerful and the weak, is not a good nation in the eyes of the GOD. (This GOD is not the one in all the religions now prevalant in the world). GOD will not allow a wealth gap of more than 10 fold to exist, nor will he allow the power to be used to abuse others. Therefore, a new social system shall be conceived to create such a system as to comply with GOD's principle, I call it the Natural Principles of GOD. Details I will not present here. Anyway, I will call it a Social Capitalism, because it is a social system, which concerns more about equality than prosperity but on the other hand, pertains to the capitalistic mechanism - that is the market force which is the only and most effective way to sustain development of human society. It is similar to Germany's social market system, but goes many steps forward.

I Love Cat

Cat is also called Maomi or Mimi, and mother is also called Mami, Both of them sounds similar in Chinese and English. And both of them are the two lovelies things in the world to me. Whenever I see a cat, my spirit will be aroused. This after when I came to Yanchun, a nearby village, a cat followed me for a while and I played with her/him a little while. This cat might be a home bred one, otherwise it will not follow people, for wild cats fear people. When people go towards them, they will run away. Apparently this was not a wild cat. And even home bred cat will not befriend everyone - only those familiar with them are able to approach them. Therefore this cat might misunderstand me as its friends or it recognize me as harmless from my appearance. Cats, dogs and many other animals can also distinguish bad from good people.

October 28

End of my academic efforts

Last night, after 600 days' delay, I've finally decided to terminate my academic career and stop all studies and researches that took me more than a decade and costed my mother's life and ruined my life as well. I hate the academia more than anything else in the world, even more than the communists. I will totally devote to my business and the rest of time to my writing of mother's biography and other memorial rituals and programs. They are of lifetime and even eternal characteristics for me and people after me. Generations and generations, forever and ever. This mission is the only reasons while I am still alive and living on this wicked world.

A little English might be still useful in my business and perhaps in my writing, because I might as well write an English version, but not decided yet.

The biogaphy will be written mainly in Chinese, therefore I need to improve my Chinese a little, for that purpose I shall start to read some truely good novels in Chinese. But are there really good Chinese novels?

The Evil Imperialists and Capitalists

When I was young, I fancied of a democratic and free China and like most other Chinese, particularly those in the universities, I fancied that the socalled western "democratic and free" countries lead by the United States and Western Europe will help those suffering from dictators like Chinese to struggle for freedom and democracy. That fancy has cheated all Chinese people and many other nations. Here I wouldn't write a comprehensive analysis about the hypercracy of the western countries towards the other nations under dictatorship. But this conclusion is a truth, like a math theorem: The US and all other socalled democratic countries, have never supported the democratic movement in other countries. Just on contrary, they are cooperating with dictators ever since there are historic records. Just one example, they supported Mao Zedong when there was a cold war between the US and the USSSR (Soviet Union). The capitalists love to work with dictators, because money loves monopoly which only a dictator can provide. Just a few days ago, Trump of the US has sent a congratulation to Xi Jinping, head of the Chinese communist part for his newly nomination. While that? Because Trump has business to do with Xi and Xi's China. Under normal sense, Trump and Xi represent completely different political stands, and they shall have nothing in common. Can a person with different political views congratulate another person who secured his position in a party completely different from his own? Imagine a leader of the democratic party who congratulate a despotic leader in his country to have secured his position? In this country, they cannot coexist, they one wants to overthrow the other. Xi's party has a clear goal: to remove all democratic systems from the face of the world and to monopolize the global political landscape. Japan's party leader sent a similar message to Xi. These peole are out of sense and the West is out of sense, and the entire world is out of sense. They don't know who is the greatest danger to human civilization. Sooner or later there will be a great war between the dictators in China and the rest of the world and this war will completely destroy the civilization. I predict this will happen in 50 years.

But the West is no better than the oriental rulers now. They don't have moral principles now, their only goal is to suck as much money as they can from the oriental rulers. Therefore they will collaborate regardless what the Chinese dictators might do to their own people. They want to rule over China forever and ever, but there are no rulers who can control a country for more than 300 years, except when they finally step down and act just as a rubber stamps such as those in Japan, the UK and several other monarchies.

All people are born equal, they want to be treated the same and dignatly, they want to be respected, they want to enjoy the same levels of living, the same education, the same houses, etc. Although they are not possible, but no one can forbid them to achieve this. They can say what they think, and they want to go anywhere they want too.

All these and more can only be realized in a system where the public rights are distributed to the hands of ordinary citizens, not just a small groups of people. And this distribution must be fair, adequate, in time, dynamic and tracable. The ones who are chosen to enact public duties must be continuely monitored, controlled and if necessary punished in real time. No one is allowed to manipulate the others, control the others and surpress the others. This is real democracy, that is, the power of the common people, the power for the common people and the power from the common people. Current socalled democracies, whether that of the US which is considered as the best one, or those moxed systems in Europa, Asia or elsewhere - are all far distant from a real democracy. They are moneycracy or eleitecracy, that is a politics manipulated by money of classes of the social classes.

In a real democracy, a president will be no more honorable than an ordinary clerk in a company and works under the same contractural conditions. I will not depict this new system here.

October 27

I have determined basically to cancel my math studies too, even after my life becomes normal, that is, even after I am earning enough money for me. This is because my mission after my mother was gone, is to honor her and remember her with her biography which will become the most touching recital and momorial of a mother in the human history and will be populated all around the world forever and ever. I will devote all of my life, energy and wisdom in writing this history, therefore I could not allocate any other time for continuing my math researches, and on the other hand, math research is no more useful, for I will not disclose any of my findings, and before my death, I will destroy all my study notes, so that no one will be able to take advantadge of my intelligence after my death. Unlike other scientists in human history, I will not allow the world enjoy my wisdom while I was treated poorly when I was alive and this maltreatment lead to my failure in the academia and businesses and indirectly lead to the suicide of my mother. They have murdered and killed my mother, all these people in the academia, the communists in China and the politicians, the socalled democratic institutions, the churches and religious groups, and so on. They all are responsible, all of them have contributed to the death of my mother.

I have written hundreds of emails to German and French orgunisations with regards to my literature studies in their languages. Only the German Goethe Institue in Shanghai gave me a reply, but even this single organization did not mention any thing about the death of my mother and her momorial efforts my side. They care nothing about my mother and your mother as well, they care only for their business. Do you think I really love German literature, French novels, American essays, or Greek poets? If you think the answer yes, then you're completely wrong. I care only for what thes people will say about my mother.

October 26

Today I've ended my operations research business and instead resumed my two previous businesses - marketing consulting for foreign companies and foreign properties and land purchases for Chinese. Many wealthy Chinese want to buy foreign properties and many foreign companies want to enter into the Chinese market, but they don't know how to do.

Ms or Mrs Gao of the Goethe Institute Shanghai / Consulate General Shanghai of Germany, wrote back saying she has called me numerous times. But I have to tell her that I don't want to call foreign agencies nor want to be called by them, since I am closely watched by chinese authorities, because they suspect me as a dissident and is contacting foreign agencies for spy or something.

人生在世，都是传说，都来也匆匆，去也匆匆。谁都不是谁的谁，谁也不能主宰谁的爱与恨。从不同的角度来看，都是命运凄苦之人，都地位卑贱，因为人上有人。也都身世不明，因为在灵魂层面，都不知道自己来自何方去往何处。

October 25

I don't know how to continue with my business. It was proven useless to submit my messages through the websites of the companies, no one has responded positively, after I have contacted hundreds of them. Sending bulk emails is also useless. What can I do now?

A German company called Bureau Neubauer - I guess a personal consultant like me - is getting in touch with me - right now the only business contacts of mine - for a photovoltaic energy project in Europe and several real estates projects. But I guess there is also no chance to do these businesses, as I have difficulty in getting Chinese buyers and even Chinese PV suppliers. Many years ago, the Chinese PV manufacturers refused to make a realistic offer, and over the last years, they didn't make any offers at all, because I don't want to do business with someone they don't know.

Today this even I went to Geting again, a nearby village. I saw several pipelines of about 15 meters long are being assembled and installed. They are of bloack color, most probably iron and very large diameter - about 1 meter. I guess these are gas pipelines, not for water or steam. No water pipeline is of such big diameter, and steam pipeline is normally of stainless steam, white colored.

The road I went this even has increased traffic several times since I came here four years ago. That is to say, number of cars have been increased several times in just four years. Four years ago when I walked along this highway, there were only occasionally passing cars and trucks, but now, they come in continous way, never ending.

This area looks now more like a town than a farmland. When I was working or stuying in other parts of the country and came back home in holidays, it was a village, no cars, no highways. But now it is part of the industrialization, and it has become a noisy town. When I walk out I can always see all kinds of constructions machines on the way or in the previous famr fields, in fish pools, and in housing sites etc. Construction, construction, repairing and repairing, a cycle which makes every body busy and the officials rich.

October 24

This afternoon I rode my bike to Donglin where there is a low hill of about 70 m to climb. It's more than one month that I was there last time. It was about 4:00 pm and I only saw three peole there, two apparently from other regions taking pictures of the pagoda at the top and one young lady in the moddle of the hill sitting at the temple.

Along the road from home to the hill, there are construction of roads everywhere. The small town is repairing its roads here and there, while they were only built a few years ago, At the entry to my village, they are said to build a small park on the former rice field and fish pools. And further down along the highway between our village to a nearby town called Zhongguan (钟管) , they are turning the fish pools and cocoon tree fields to flat land, just at the bank of the small lake called Shuanglin Yang (双林漾) . Everywhere there are construction machines roaring along the roads. The rural officials are thining about as more as construction projects as they can work out: today they turn the rice field to fish pools, tomorrow they dismantle the farmer's houses to turn into rice fields, and the day after they try to convert the fish pools to rice field again and this cycle continues indefinitely, and as result of this chaotic projects, the officials responsible for those projects are able to enrich themselves with government money and the bribaries from the project developers and contractors.

October 23

At the moment I can't resume the writing of mother's biography. Once I start to write her story, I cannot keep weeping all the time when I am thinking about her past and I have to stop it. I will resume the story once all my life issues are accomplished. And then I can weep as long as I can, but at the moment I need enough time to earn money and many other important things.

I have to change my ideas of yesterday a bit. Although I position myself now not as a scholar and I consider my mother's biograpgy and perhaps my own is my biggest and most important mission of the rest of my life and earning enough money as the key to achieve all these projects, still I have to maintain a certain level of achievement in learning, therefore I still need to make myself clear what will be my fundamental knowledge and expertise skills in the later time. And obviously English will be one (other languages will be discarded forever unless there is enough reason to resume their studies and use), IT - well anyway I will use them for various purposes such as website development, web scraping and data mining, security and privacy issues and many others, but I will not put them on my agenda, only for practical use purposes. And what is left to me for real studies and researches is math - and still I will keep graph theory as my target research topic and currently I will continue with my graph data structures, although I will slow down my pace a bit. As far as operations research is considered, it is anyway a transitionary measures and is not of permenant topics - but graph theory on one hand is one of the tools in operations researches, therefore they are mixed.

October 22

I woke up 3:30 this early morning and could not fall asleep again for more than an hour, and then I was thinking about my plan. I thought my mission after the death of my mother is to still honor her by writing her biography which will become the most touchung memoir of a mother in human history and will then be read and remembered by all the people in the world generations and generations, and more than that, I will put this biography to movies to be shown all over the world over and over and lastly I shall build some memorial buildings where people can pay attributes to my mother.

All these things need lots of time and efforts as well as huge amount of money. Therefore I have no time to do anything else, including also math math and graph theory researches. Therefore I have, after this kind of ponderation, decided to stop my writing about graph data structure and any other authoring in graph embedding, TSP (Traveling Salesman Problem) related problems and others. But I may continue to read some math topics such as Operations Research which is now part of my temporary business scopes as well as combinatorial optimization related to OR.

Just some days ago I have stopped learning, reading of all other languages except English, and as a result, today, my knowledge base will be shrinked to English, some math, and some IT, and none of them are for research but for my practical use in life and business, even math - because at least OR is now related to my business and the other maths will be studied to train my brain, for math learning is good to keep your brain active and even is good to your helth.

October 21

Today is a shining day. I went to a nearby village called Nanshuanglin and bought two pieces of onions and some ginger "姜" . Prices of ginger has been soaring recently, to 14 Yuan per kilo for those dried up. I bought some fresh, still wett ones that were priced at 10 Yuan/kg. The onion cost me 4 Yuan per kilo. I use ginger as an ingredient to my water, which I drink from morning to evening, and ginger also serves as cleaning and absorbing material in the water, which is not well filtered here in the water plant and therefore contains some pollutants and even poisonous matters.

Yesterday a lady from the Goethe Institut Shanghai has wriiten a response to my inquiry a couple of days ago with regards of German literature exchange, and she asked me to call her phone. But I am afraid calling phone to a foreign agency here in China is not a wise choice, as all communications are monitored by the government. And if I, living now in a small village, am making calls in foreign language, the government will certainly put close eyes to me, doubting me as a foreign spy and pretty soon they will invade into my home and perhaps arrest me for making further investigations. I have been one of their monitoring targets for long time. Therefore I told the lady that I will not make phone call to her and she is also not advised to do so.

A group of people - a few thousands - are gathering in Beijing to talk about nonsense, and for this purpose they have mobilized more than a million military and police forces to detect and prevent any attacks to them. These people, the decendents of the former Chinese communist leaders - those former bandits who overtook the legitimate government of the Republic of China - are all like mad dogs and see all Chinese people as threating to their rules. They are now controlling the absolute majority of the wealth, and power in the whole country.

But the Western countries love their money and cooperate with them very enthusiastically, without any considerations of the suffering of Chinese people under their brutal rules. The socalled democratic countries have never been in world history supported the liberty compaign of the surpressed people. On the contrary, they have been always cooperating with the dictators - from Africa to Middle East, from Middle East to Far East and further to South America.

Therefore I consider none of them are democratic, for a real democratic country, government or people will never tolerate a dictator, and will not stand by while the other people are suffering. Imagine someone is called a nice one, but he never care for a person close by him who is dying?