My Diaries |
(Sept 2019) |
Sept 30 |
Music Over the last 4 years or so, since the death of my mother, I havn't have the chance and mode to listen to music, except some rare cases when I want to listen to some very sad music, incl. the ones from the church such as the "Tears of Thanksgiving 感恩的泪" and the one from the 1987 version of "Red Dreams 红楼梦" called "Songs of Flower Burials 葬花吟". But since one or two weeks I have suddenly caught by the classic music which I havn't touched since more than 5 year or so, especially Beethoven's Piaono Concerto No 5 or Emperor and Mendelson's Violin conterto e minor. These two pieces are my most favorites and I can listen to them hours and hours. Of course they give me different feelings than the "Songs of Flower Burials" which reminds of my mother, because the classics is a reminder of my life in the late 1980's when I was studying at university and was interested in classic music very much. I went to concert for almost all good performance in the Shanghai Municipal Concert Hall at Yanan Road, and I have even tried to play violin myself, albeit in failure. Those were real life, and those people who are plying these great pieces and listening to those excellent performances are really enjoying their life, while I am now completely out of civiliazation and my life now is completely meaningless. I must try my best to revert my life trace and return to normal life with lots of classic music, every day at least. And the Songs of Flower Burials is a depicting of my mother, my dearest and most precious mother on the earth. She was such a nice persons I guess there is no example. I will start writing her biography as soon as possible, not waiting for me become a billionaire.
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Sept 29 |
I didn't realize that I've stopped writing my dary already for 8 days, I thought it was 4 or 5 days. Mother's Biography I might try to plan the writing of my mother's biography, without waiting further until I am rich enough. Of course I can amass a huge amount of money then I can devote most of my time on the writing and other memorial activities. I cannot start the writing also because I will cry when I pick up my pen and start to write the story, and my endless tears will prevent me from further writing and thinking. Therefore I can assure myself if this time I can encourage myself to contain my own feeling. On the other hand, I have not known whether or not I shall write in Chinese or English. Of course my Chinese is better than English, because the former is my mother language. But in any case my literature talent is not good enough to write a world class novel. Therefore I need to improve myself in either of the two languages. My target is to write a biography above all literature of the world so far. It's a very challening job, but I will try. Circumventing Chinese Firewall I took me 2 or 3 days to work out some ways to get out of the Chinese firewalls which prevent us to learn the true world both in and out of China. In theory the wall can block all of our outbound traffic, but in reality it is leaking some messages because it dares not to completely isolate Chinese Internet users form the outside world, in a fear that this isolation will greately damage China's economy and hence the communist government's ability to use its economic power to enfluence the world and to control its own people. Once they loose their economic resources, their rules are in danger as well. Therefore they dare not to completely close the doors, but they have succeeded to block most of the anticommunist ideas to enter into ordinary Chinese people. Theological Studies Until now I can find no seminaries or colleges which offer study programs later this year. For the spring semester there are few I may be able to apply, but with certain conditions. Therefore after one and half months' investigations I still can't find a college which can admit into its study program. I have sent my applications to 2 or 3 of them, but neither have given me an answer to my satisfaction, even worse, some did not reply to me at all. Modem IC Design, Research & Business for Satellite Broadband I've stopped looking for PhD positions or jobs in the modem IC design and research for satellite broadband, forever and ever. My business in this area is not very active these two weeks, since my last talks with three potential clients. My website's daily traffic is also not being improved, only a few hundreds of views a day. Because of my determination to stop my contacts with the academia and the industry, it is no more necessary to write specialist papers or books on these subjects. But I will continue to work on optimal design of satellite modem ICs. Business will be continuing, but it's very difficult to do so. There are very little chance to promote my site, as there I can find no more sites in this industry where I can build high quality links. The link building is the only way to improve google ranking.
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Sept 21 |
母亲，外公外婆的家 The Home of my Mother and Grandparenst of my Mother side 今天傍晚散步看见母亲娘家的房子，令我伤心不已。 母亲就出生在这样一间破屋里面，可是我没能让她过上幸福生活，含恨而去。 如今， 外公外婆早已不在， 母亲也一三年半前离去， 这个破屋也面临被拆的命运，一切都成为过去，我感到一丝丝悲哀。 人生就是一场悲剧， 最后一个个离场。 早知如此， 还不如不要生下来，在这个世界受苦。 This evening I have had a glimpse of mother's birth home, humble and small. In fact I pass this hone almost every day, albeit at a distance of about 30 meters. My grandparents of mother side were passed away many years ago (more than 25 years) and mother was gone 3 years and a half, leaving me alone. This humble home is now inhabited by a cousin of mine, who is the elder son of my oncle, mother's only brother. But soon he will move out of this home because his own son has built another house and according to the local regulations this home has to be destroyed. I don't know when it will be dismantled yet, but in a matter of months. And then there will be no place to hold my memories of grand mother and grand father and my mother's young days. Everything will be lost, and I will be even more lonely. The only memory now is the old house which now I am living in and also the old my elder brother and his family is inhabiting. But all these houses need to be destroyed according to rumors here in this village. I feel very sad, in fact life itself is a tradegy, because sooner or later everybody has to leave the world, therefore it is better not to come to the world at all. It is an unbearable experience to witness my dearest to leave me one by one.
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Sept 20 |
Square Dancing What on the earth I hate most apart from communists and prostitutes? These are the chinese midaged women who dance on the squares in the cities and countryside. When I was in cities I saw them dance on the city square, and then I thought I won't see them in the villages, but the square dancers are even more vivid in the rural China. Nowadays every village has built its square and on them the midaged women dance almost every night, from Spring to Summer, from Autumn to Winter. Their dances are very ugly, pornographic. I have to cover my face and ears when I pass by these dancers, for I hate them to extremety.
Cats What I love the most on the earth then? Apart from my mother who passed by 3.5 years ago, it is cats of course. The cats are the most lovely beings on the earth - I don't call them animals because cats are more human than humans - much much lovelier than humans. A cat knows who is kind to her, that is exactly my case. A couple of weeks ago I happen to meet a cat nearby a bridge some 1.5 km southeast to mh home, on my way of everyday walking on the village passage. After playing with the cat for a couple of time, the cat remembers me and likes me very much. When I pass by, it will miao miao when she is shut off in a house unable to come out to meet me, and will jump to me if she is outdoor. This was exactly the case tonight. When I passed by this evening, she suddenly jumped to me and came close to me. But she is not dare to touch me because she is still afraid of people not belong to her home where she is living and being fed, nevertheless she is happy to hear me appraoching and shows me that she likes me as well. |
Sept 19 |
Farmers Chinese farmers used to be humble, honest and reliable. But now they are cunny, haughty and unreliable. In my native village you can hardly find one farmer who looks honest and upright. They all with a few exception come from the house of prostitutes and prisons. They trust and pursue only money. They don't respect people with good nature, host and reliability. If you're not a government official, or a rich businessman, they don't pay respect of you, even if you're a PhD, a professor or otherwise a scholar of some sort. Proxies These days it is more and more difficult to find the circumventing tools to evade the Chinese firewall. All the previously often used tools are invalid, such as psiphon, ultresurf, lantern, and many others, leave only shadowsocks to work somehow, but with difficulty, because you have to find the right nodes outside China to get through the firewall. These nodes are getting difficult to locate, and once they are found, they will soon be bannded by the firewall. So I am in a very bad situation to go through the wall and connect to the outside world.
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Sept 18 |
My Computer My computer which was bought in 2011, is now completely out of service, after 3 or 4 years of malfunctioning of the memory chips. There has been contact problem of the memory chip and the slots. And now since last night there came up a strange noise "papapa" and then it reboots and reboots. The strange voice comes from several parts of the mainboard, and possibly from other parts of the computer, but I can't locate them. Apparently some capacitors are burnt, as my friends and also the Internet say. Anyway, now the computer can no more working. Fortunately I have preapred for that day long ago, therefore all of my documents, data and important software are saved in other media such as USB flash, and harddisks, and I have also bought a laptop a month ago, although for it to work there are lots of settings to be done. PhD and Modem Design Job Over the last week I have again written to about 10 people in the academia, namely those researchers in the field of radio frequency technologies particularly for modem technologies, in an intention to gain a phd entry or a research position or something similar, but except one from a Greek university, no one reply to my inquiry and willingness to conduct my research in their organizations, therefore I will not continue with my inquiries and thus the PhD business is stopped and will never be resumed, just like over the last several years (ca 2007-2016). I will do the researches myself and as a result will not publish my results. Likewise, my job applications for modem design at numerous companies have got no echoes of whatever kind. Therefore I will stop the applications forever. Now the only choice is to earn enough money and then to settle in a free country to continue with my business as soon as possible. But be quick! |
Sept 15 |
Satellite Broadband Modem Business This morning I've received an inquiry for satellite broadband terminals and hubs from a Bangladesh company. See if I can do a business with them. This is the 2nd time I have got some feedback froom potential clients in my satellite modem business, the previous inquiry came from a South African company called Media Highway, now it is Multi Tech or something. This is a small order, 10 terminals with a hub except the antenna, total value in the order of hundredso f thousand USD. It is a military order, handed over to me by a Bangladesh commercial company. They have prerequisite conditions which countries can supply these equipments, but China is not among them. I guess it is out of fears the Chnese telecom equipments may spy their communications, bnot becaue of the low quality of Chinese products. Even Turkey, and Malaysis are on the permitted list of suppliers. Satellite Broadband Modem Job and Career The Israeli modem company Ayecka finnaly acknowledged my applications and asked me to send them a CV. A good sign anyway. Also continue with my job applications at modem technology companies, although with very dim perspective. Modem Research/PhD/Visiting Scholar Position Continue to send inquiry letters to potential employers for my satellite modem research, today: Dr Vassilis Dalakas of Harokopio University, Greece and Riaan Wolhuter from Stellenbosch University, South Africa. Well, South Africa, if no universities in developed countries can accept my research. Dr Dalakas has sent me a very nice and warmhearted reply, giving me many instruction and much encouragement, although he himslef could not provide me with a research opportunity. God bless him! Torndown House During my evening walk betwwen 6-7 pm I saw a small house about 150 m from me was torn down, becasue the owner has already applied for a new flat in the socalled New Village. Here in this village, farmers have to dismantle their farmhouse in order to buy or build a new house or flat, in order to reclaim the land they say. In fact it is the local village officials tricks to reclaim the land so that they can earn money from the land themselves. This is a very complicated bribary system in China's rural regions. The rural caders are enriching themselves through the land use transfer in one way or another. I will cover these topics in other places. |
Sept 14 |
USB Stab My 2nd USB stab I bought in Hangzhou in April was not working well in my desktop computer, and copying files was extremely slow. But today the situation seems a bit better. I have tried this early morning to copy the files on this stab to my newly bought laptop, although at first it was very slow to get ready for the stab to work, but when it was ready, copying was straight forward and fairly speedy. I thought it will take hours to finish the copying of 10 GB of files, but in fact it took only 15 minutes or so. Therefore this USB storage can still be used, at least on my laptop I bought in early August. Exodus project - where to go? For the three possibilities among 6 or 7 I am planning, that is, 1) self -employed visa, 2) cheap resident or immigration plan and 3) visa free entry, I would like to know what rights (jobs, house rents, etc) I may have, in order to decide which to do. By self-employed visa you can not take jobs, of course you can rent a flat and work as normal people do - open bank account etc; By cheap immigration or permanent resident, it depends on what type of residents or immigration programs you're planning. Some allow grant everything except the rights of election and being elected, some does not allow you anything except traveling or retirement. Be careful. By visa free entry, you probably only have the rights to pay for your traveling. Updating of my modem technology website For the first time over the last months I was unable to find any news to put onto my website this Saturday (Wenesdays and Saturdays are my scheduled dates for updating my website). A scraper dealer Since part of my house and the neighboring houses were torn down about three months ago, the scrape dealers were always in the vicinity to buy scraped materials and house appliances. There are some wood lugs left over after the dismantle of my house, and they were laying there in the rear part of my house. I know these dealers were hunting for my wood, and have gone to my house many time, but I did not want to make a deal with them myself directly. I have either no time or no motive to do so. These rubbish wood is worth little my efforts for selling time, therefore each time these people come to me I did not respond to their calling. But this morning the guy came again, and because today it is id autumn moon festival, my brother and his wife were also at home, therefore they went to them, asking them for a deal. My brother went out to his field for planting vegetables therefore his wife made a deal with the dealer. I don't know how much the guy paid my brother's wife. I don't care. It can't be a big sum. But when I looked into the field I found there were still a lot of wood lugs there, possibly the guy didn't want them at all, because these lugs are apparently too bad quality. Freelance jobs in IT and web Because there is no chance to get a translation project, I am turning to IT services as freelance jobs. However, when I have logined in to my freelance portal accounts, I cannot find any information about freelance IT services. This was quite a surprise to me. And if there were some needs, their project size were very small with an order value of only a few dollars. And then what to do? Trading??? I've been doing trading online for many years, but without any success. Power generation systems and equipments, ships, aircrafts, yachts and boats, thermal machines, steel, coal, pumps, etc etc, all sorts of machinery and systems. Do some small trading? No ideas. Classic music About 10 days ago I wanted to listen to classic music, after many years of getting used to holy psalms. I thought I will never like any other music than Christian sons and music. But the super critic and cold atmosphere of the religious world has turned me away from the churches and of course in the end the sons and music of their musicians have lost their charms as well. Now I hate Christian music and I have no interest in christian sons and music. I now again return to classic music, that reminds my days of graduate studies at an university, well in around 1986. I keep my customs of listening to classic music upto my engagement in churches around 2005. And now Mendelssohn, Mozart, Beethoven and many other classic great musicians are again my favorite persons.
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Sept 13 |
Theology My two applications since Monday this week to two theological seminaries - one in the Netherlands and the other in Fiji - got no answers yet. The South African seminar do have answered my inquiry, but they insist that I shall first pay an application fees in order to continue with the processing of application, in addition to some extra documentation such as notary certificates etc. Modem Research Positions This week I have already sent three inquiry letters to three professors for an application for a PhD, or research position at their universities, so far no response. These are UNIVERSITY OF CANTERBURY's PHILIPPA MARTIN on 20190912, EPFL's PAOLO PRANDONI on 20190911 and SOGANG UNIVERSITY's WONJIN SUNG on 20190913. Modem Jobs Apart from the above, job hunting at worldwide satellite communication companies are resumed and I have checked my profiles and job application status at some of these companies where there are my login and profile data. Nothing happened. Nevertheless I have updated some of them, notably with my new CV and coverletter. For some of them I have submitted new jobs, waiting for a miracle! Freelance Translation I've checked proz.com and translatorcafe.com regularly and sent my inquiry letters to some of the job posting companies, but only one or two have replied to my inquiries, but they require me to have a test, and their rate is extremely low, payment terms are unbelievably terrible. I have thus drawn a conclusion that if I actively contact these translation companies for a job, they will offer you very bad conditions, and I can never work under such conditions. As a result, I have decided never to contact them myself again. If they contact me actively themselves, then it's OK, probably they will provide me with a better offer. Freelance IT Services Because keeping in touch with translation companies myself is useless, I am considering to resume my contacts with people who need some of my IT expertise, such as coding, web scraping, database management, web development etc. I have registered in some of the key freelance websites, maybe I shall go there again and see if there is a chance to win a job in the IT area. Trading From time to time people are sending me trading information such as aircrafts, ships and boats, and that kind of things, I may also respond to their inquiries and see if I can catch some of these possibilities. Website updating Over the last month I've spent quite a lot of time on updating of my modem technology website, mentioned a couple of time earlier in this diary. And now the updating is going to be on a regular basis, that each Wednesday and Saturday I will pull in some news from the web and put them in the relevant sections of my site. Of course any time I can update my site as long as there is any change. Website link building Right now the only option to promote my site is to build more links as I can. However, I can't find more sites where I can implant my site. Email marketing is dead, and pay per click on google is not the right option for me of very little budget. Website visitor statistics One month ago when I just came back home from Daixi where I worked a month and a half, my website visitor statistics showed that only 200 to 300 people were browsing my site every day, while earlier at peak time it was almost 2000 visits a day. And now after my promotion efforts, the visit has increased a bit: yesterday it was nearly 2000 hits, but in most cases it is about 600 visits a day, doubled since a month. Direct contact As link building has come to an end, I have to think about other ways of marketing. One possibility is to contact potential clients directly per the site submittal forms of their websites, but not through emails. I have decided to contact first the satellite broadband operators for a trial. The tier 1 operators which are relatively established and with good reputation will receive my letter explaining my reports about the Chinese market, while the startups or less known companies will have my introductory messages about my engineering and consulting services. French, German and English These three days I've basically stopped learning the above languages and preparing for the relevant tests for theology studies - TestDaf for German, TCF for French and IELTS/TOELF for English. I don't know if I will continue with my theological studies next year. Among the many exodus possibilities, theological studies is the least profitable one, with more expenditure and no income. Exodus project I've been planning an exodus China project more than 10 years. Right now there are a couple of possibilities, such as the ones below:
according to the priority level. I have not yet decided which will be my final action. Satellite broadband modem technologies Apart form running a website which will also cost me lots of time and efforts, I need also to
For this I need to study lots of things, in the wireless and satellite communications, modulation and demodulation and related sciences, and IC design techniques of course. I don't have enough time for all these studies and researches. Mid Moon Festival The August 15 of the Chinese lunar calendar is the mid moon cake festival, when people gather together in their families to enjoy the socalled moon cake at the nights when the moon is the fullest in the year. This year the date falls to today Sept 13, Gregorian calendar. I am living alone since my mother's passaway. My brother spends his time with his family and never comes to me on this day. My two sisters are now in Hangzhou, they will also not come to me for a visit on this particular day. They also have their own families to care for. Only Qiang Meiqin, the wife of my childhood mate and also a distant relative of mine, sent me a message. Last year, Xing Xiaoli has given me some moon cakes as well, but this year, after the incidents in Daixi and because of Zhou's bad words, Xing has stopped to pay a visit to me as well. Tonight the moon is big, bigger than I see everyday, but it looks not very round, a bit elliptic. Today there are obviously more traffic then most days in the village. I thought earlier that because most young people are gong to cities, the little village will become empty. To my surprise it is still crowded, and it si even becoming more and more populated. Half of the residents are from far distant provinces such as Guizhou and Yunnan, some from nearby provinces such as Anhui. What happened with my high school classmates? My short work stay in Daixi has completely ruined my relations with some of my otherwise very close classmates of Linghu Middle School, especially by Zhou's accusation of my misbehavior towards the boss of the Daixi factory where I worked for a month and a half. And now they have all cut ties with me, and my home is now very quiet. It all happened in the last days of my job at Daixi and a week after my quittal of the factory. I tell you what. A month after my work my boss called me up to his office on a saturday evening right before dinner. He asked me to change my job to a workshop manager and I have refused. I told this to my female classmate who introduced and recommend me to this factory owner. She kept silent for a week, while at the same time she was very active in Wechat group and traveling. She said she was very busy, her driver was jailed for drinking alcohol, her husband was hospitalized and she has to deal with her daily business as well. And during the same week the factory owner also kept quiet. For all these phenomena I have told another of my classmates that Mrs Peng, my female classmate just mentioned, might have sold me out by not giving me any ideas how to deal with this change of position in the factory, and one of my closes friends in the factory held the same opinion that she and the boss has reached common understanding that I shall go. I guess the boss might take further action to force me go. My guess was not wrong. And then suddenly on the subsequent Saturday the private boss asked his administration woman to talked with me about my job, performance, salary and relationship between me and the boss. She warned me that I shall in the future not directly contact the boss because he is a very busy man, although she pointed out he and I are friends - were we??? And he asked me why I shall not go to the workshop for the new position, because she thought I were perfectly fit to that job, because she thought I can make very good table on the computer. She consider that is all what I am good at. Making good tables in spreadsheets is not among my talents, but rather some kind of tools I use to organize my ideas. I told her that job is suitable for a girl of no education and experiences, any girl out there on the street can undertake that. After that talk I realized that I shall leave that factory, therefore the next Wednesday I told the boss I will leave him in three days. Of course that was what he wanted, but he was so hypercritical that he pretended to retain me, but I refused. He lowered my position in the company, from the highest to as low as an ordinary worker, there is now no reasons to stay there any longer. But I hope all things shall be settled before I go. But he did not. I have asked them to pay my salary before leaving, they just ignored. And only a week later after my quittal they were able to transfer my salary to my bank account. In between the boss has committed falsehood several times, by repeatedly delaying paying my salary, first last Sunday, then Monday, Wednesday. And during that time I was very angry and I said some very angry words towards him, that my classmate Zhou has abstractedly conveyed to the boss. Zhou defended this boss, while accusing me of improper behavior before that boss. According to Zhou, I were wrong to ask for payment of my salary and Zhou's opinion was that the boss can pay you whenever he think proper. But my opinion is that when I leave your company you shall pay all my salary before leaving, that is common practice and legal requirement. No companies have even delayed paying my wage when I left them. This was the firs case of that kind. But Zhou and other classmates thought it was my fault to quit the company and it was my fault to urge the boss to pay my salary and in the end, they all cut ties with me, and my relations with them have returned back to what was 1.5 years ago, when I did not have frequent contacts with my middle school classmates. About why I have left that factory only 1.5 months of work I have written something already, but I will write a little more detailed when there is chance. Backing up of key files From time to time I need to backup my files from one medium to another. Over the last two months I have been saving my documents mainly in one of my USB stub, because my desktop computer is in trouble, therefore I dare not to use my desktop disks as the main storage medium. About once a month I need to backup my files from one medium to another.
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How busy I am? Sept 11 |
Although my current status of life is far from a noble one, rather it is a miserable one - with no steady income, no accountable social contacts and alone. Yet I am possibly one of the busiest guys in the world. Look at my daily agenda: Studies and researches of IC technologies and modem for satellite broadband. That encompasses lots of areas of sciences incl. wireless communications, satellite technologies and IC technologies and design. This alone is easy to make you one of the busiest guys in the world. And then the design of my modems for my business, that is also a result of my above researches and studies but still somehow different from just studies and researches. Research is not the same as design, you probably know it. And my website www.angelia.space needs to be well developed, maintained and updated / upgraded, which involves huge amount of time and efforts. Updating of website is not enough, you need to promote it, let people know it and eventually entice people to buy the services I am promoting on my website. That also takes tremendous efforts, time and techniques. There are hundreds of possibilities to promote the website, incl. link building, direct contacts with the relevant business insiders and of course regular updating of the site contents. All these are time consuming. So far I can't generate any sensible revenue from my modem business, therefore I have to look for alternative incomes, like linguistic services - translations - and other businesses such as trading on power machines, ships etc. That is also not easy to do. Apart from sciences, I have also to cope with several of my languages such as German, French in addition to English. They are currently not much useful except English, but one never knows if that can be changed. For example, over the last three months or so I have got in touch with theological seminaries in various countries also those speaking German and French. Some of them ask for my German or French test results, which I have not at the moment, therefore I need to pass those tests sometime, if I really want to go theologically. Theology is not the only option which can help me out of China: getting a job in the fields of my expertise that is modem IC design, winning a PhD in a university somewhere are also possible choices, but both of these ways need tremendous efforts. They are all ongoing but without results yet. Of course if you want to leave China, you may invest some money in a country where you want to go, or you can go there self employed, but these two options are not the best choice for me because lack of money at the moment. There is also a possibility to go to a country visa free for Chinese, but you need to have enough money for your stay there and late on you need to work out a way to stay longer. All the above possibilities are on my agenda and are being tried on my side. And finally this diary of mine, which will now be updated on daily basis. How busy I must be to do all the things above! |
Sept 11 |
Prices of meat has been soaring over the last half year. This morning I biked to Donglin town (about 4 km) and tried to buy some meat for my food, surprisingly the cheapest pork cost you RMB 22 a Jin (0.5 kilogram), and this price is almost 4 times what was two years ago. Our life quality is deteriorating rapidly if we cannot earn much more money than the meat price is increasing. Here below now is my short story about my short job stay at Daixi town. In Arpil 2018 last year one of my female high school classmates named Peng Liya has promised to secure a job for me during a rendezvous on behalf of the 40th anniversary of our schooling back to 1978, also held in Donglin town. After that every body has forgotten that committment except Mrs Peng. However she never did, although the promise was realized only more than a year later, when in mid May this year she told me that a friend of hers has the intention to invite me work for his factory not far away from my home, about 15 km or 20 min driving distance. We went there for a first interview and the atmosphere was very friendly and the entrepreneur from Chongqing looked very humble and easy going. My classmates also told me that he has also suffered much in his life over the last years and therefore he fully understood my current situation - especially the loss of my mother and he was fairly confident that he and I can together do something great. After the first meeting came the second when I was officially moving to his factory. He has even offered me a large 4 room apartment as my living place there, but I denied that and instead I accepted only a single room flat with a toilet, no kitchen. The room was air-conditioned, with hot water heater for bath. There was also a large bed enough for 4 persons, all free - but electricity and water will be charged upon me. The factory was situated in an industrial zone in Dixie town, very close to the hills, therefore I liked the place very much, because I could jog there every morning and evening just before and after work. My salary was not very comfortable - just RMB 5000 a month - if you consider me a high waged person already in 1995, well 24 years ago when I already could earn almost 10000 RMB a month. But it was me who proposed a very low wage, and the boss instead proposed higher. In my mind there is no way to enrich me with whatever salary he may be proposing, therefore there is no difference whether or not he will provide me an income of 5000 a month or 10 000 a month, because with either of this income you still can never buy a house in big city. Even in small town like Daixi housing price is about RMB 10000 m2, you have to work 100 months to buy a flat of 100 m2 without any spending and with ordinary expenditure of your life, you must work 80 years to purchase an apartment of that size. And 80 years, who can live that long and by that time I would be 137 years old. Can I outlive that period of paying time? Ridiculous, therefore it is unrealistic to rely on his salary for my future needs of housing and other expenses. I must secure other sources of income. As such the wage in that factory was irrelevant to my future plan, what was important was that I could still develop my career and business while working there and I can at least some little money to deal with my day to day expenses, not large spending on real estates or investment of other types. During the first week everything seemed OK, nothing abnormal was found. The factory looked running smoothly, with its three workshops for machining, pressing and cutting of metal sheets and welding. There were about a hundred employees, one third from the boss's and his wife's relatives, another third from local people and the rest from other parts of the countries. At first glimpse it looked nice, neatly managed. But then more and more problems were found. First, its low productivity. With its 100 something staff, it only yielded a revenue of about 30 million RMB, much much lower than I've expected or only about 1/10 of my expectation. Second its quality status was very low as well. There were many customer complaints coming, at least once a week. Some have withdrawn their orders, other have reduced their orders. Third its delivery capacity was very bad as well. Even under the current situation of insufficient orders, the factory cannot meet the delivery dates, almost 40% of the orders have to be delayed. One of the most strikingly worrisome thing was the fact that many machines were stopped, idling. The situation was complicated. Some were 2nd hand machines when they were bought and were found unable to run, some were in maintenance and repair but there were not enough or not good enough repairmen. Another apparently ineffective working situation was the lack of automation in the factory. Although there were quite a number of CNC machines, but in fact they were only semi-automatic. The changing of blades and working components were still manual, and the programming of the lathes took too long time, mostly in hours and even in some cases in days. After two weeks' observation I've pointed out to my boss that the most important issues was to implement a fully qualified quality system and to manage the machines in good conditions, and also to automate the lathes as far as possible. The quality department and its people shall be respected and be out into a favorable position. Right now they seemed only to be part of the production workshops, and their only jobs were to inspect the parts and final products on the production line. However, in my observation, it is more important to implement a well managed quality system than to ask quality persons to work on the production lines by the machines. I've observed that my proposals were neglected and the boss emphasized more on winning more orders and speeding up the production than caring for the quality systems and machine maintenance and automatic, therefore I decided to focus on three things - the updating of the factory's website, marketing to international clients and the automatic renovation of the machines. My performance during the first three weeks or so was approved by the boss, but then he started to ignore my job. My daily report to him won't be appraised. Suddenly on a saturday evening just one month in the factory he summoned me to his office and talked about a new assignment for me, that is the job for coordinating for the workers' job planning in the no.3 workshop. I first accepted on that day, but when he came to my office to officially ask me to move to the new post, I denied, saying that I was not able to perform this kind of task. I though first he might just ask me to do such job for a couple of days, at most 2 weeks or so, but he said it might last for half a year or so, that's to say, a long assignment. I told him I am not fit to this type of job, because I have to idea how to cope with the workers there. And this kind of job did not need people like, who are used to be among the management level of any corporations. Therefore I asked him to look for a better candidate. He then said OK, then let's forget it. But he never forgot it. One week later, he sent his person from the administration and personnel department, warning me not to contact the boss directly in the future because he is a very busy man, and accused of my refusal to work for the new assignment. It was clear now that the boss wanted to distance me and make it clear he and I were now no more friends, and my position in the factory was now no better than anyone else. This was in fact a de facto dismissal, although he did not officially announce that. Even talking with my classmates later he pretended to ask me to stay in his factory and declared that it was not him but me who insisted to quit the company. And a week later I've left the company. But I could not get paid only a week later, after I have urged my classmates to request a timely pay. The factory was in chaos. Many people were leaving, incl. the quality manager. Before me, the assistant to GM, although a wife of the boss's classmate, has also quit the company only a month of work later. Today I don't have much time to write my story there in details. The above are only some key lines of my experiences and memoirs. One kye motive why I left this factory was also the bad meals in the factory's canteen. It cannot provide the necessary nourishment for my work, especially one has to work almost 10 hours a day and 6 days a week.
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Sept 10 |
Over the last months I've tried to find a way out of China without risking an adventure, that is, to find legal ways to get a visa for entry into a country where I can legally reside, study and work. Three possibilities I've tried: 1) via theological studies, 2) per work permission and 3) by pursuing a PhD position. Pursuing a PhD position under my circumstances I need to have written some excellent papers or books in the specialized fields - at the moment and in the future it will be modem technology notably for satellite communications, particularly for the broadband Internet access via satellite. For that purpose I need a quite place and peace to prepare for that sort of thing. Unfortunately I don't have these conditions, details will be talked late on. Therefore at this moment of time I cannot yet start my PhD applications. Nevertheless I have surveyed the academic communities and sadly found out that there are only very few researchers in the academia who are concentrating on modem specific researches. Of course there are lots of people doing intensive researches on this area, such as people at qualcomm, amazon, google, apple, intel etc, therefore it is highly likely even a PhD position has to be pursued in those companies. I will find out more information in this aspect and take corresponding actions. Finding the right job for me has never been easy, I don't know why. During the last two or three months I've been focusing on modem design or rather RF - radio frequency - IC design jobs at some of the key companies in this field, such as those just mentioned above. About a hundred companies I have contacted, without any positive reply. Another possibility is to find jobs at churches worldwide, which also proves impossible over the last two weeks or so. In fact I've tried that option long ago in vain only. Taking a theological studies is straight forward and easy, as long as you have enough money, and in some case with a good language level, which I do have indeed, but need a test to prove it. I got two entry offers, one from a French and the other from a German seminary, both of them need a language test, French being a embassy requirement, German required by by the seminary and the embassy. I am reluctant to do these tests and therefore am trying to find more places where they can offer me a study without bothering the language tests and also the church recommendation stuffs. As a result of these investigations it is clear that I've no chance to leave China per theological studies this year, therefore I have either to wait for the next seminar or to try out other possibilities. Indeed there are more possibilities that just mentioned above. Some of them are described below: Applying for self-employed visa: This option is good for me because I am doing business over the last 20 years by myself, therefore I am used to self-employment. There are countries which welcome self-employed persons with excellent expertise, but anyway obtaining their visas is no trivial at all. Lots of documents to be prepared, time consuming and sometimes also costly. Cheap immigration countries: There are a few countries offering easy and cheap immigration package. One can try in case there is no other way out of China. These countries of course don't offer good business and career perspective, but sometimes they are good place for retirement. Visa-free entries: There are a few countries Chinese people can go without visas. These are also not good countries with backward infrastructure and economy, no chance to develop my high tech business and research, but they can be my transitional point on my journey further away. And finally my website for modem technology www.angelia.space is now updated with better look. The site looks now more professional, see the picture below. ************************* 36 years ago I was working at the Chinese central government in Beijing - the Ministry of Machine Industry - and now I have returned to my home village empty handed. Many years ago the peasants of this native village of mine followed me wherever I went - when I was in Beijing they tried to come to me in Beijing, while I was in Shanghai they came to Tongji University where I was studying, and even if I was 3000 km away form home they also traveled to Shenzhen to meet me for giving them some favors. They chased after me wherever I go. And now I am here again in my village of birth and parents, they blame me for being the most incapable persons, and curse me every day. What kind of beasts there farmers are! *************************** From 2007 to 2016 I have spent almost 10 years on my scientific endeavors. There were some short period of success, such as an invitation of visiting scholar to Qinghua University by an academician and a professor and the admission into a PhD program into the Nanyang University of Technology in Singapore all in 2008 and the passing of the written PhD entry exam at Zhejiang University in 2011, but the failure of the oral exam. I was promised to become a math teacher at an American university but was later overturned. Otherwise all my academic efforts were failed and thus after 10 years try I was still outside the door of any universities, therefore the 2007 decision to return to the academia was not realized. Nevertheless, if my mother did not go to heaven in March 2016, I would spend some time on writing some of the greatest scientific works in a year or two and then I will officially return to the Academia with my achievement in scientific writing and researches. However, mother's unexpected death made me completely directionless and for the following three years after mother decease I cannot figure out what to do. And only recently I was able to resume my life to normal track. However, in order to normalize my life, business and research I need some time, therefore I need one or two years to put my research and business onto the right track.
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Sept 09 |
Now that it is almost a month (Aug 11 -Sept 9) since I have quitted the small factory in Daixi town, some 15 km from my home, what I have done during that time period? Well, the first thing I was intending to do to leave that factory was to see if I can still find out a way out to start my theological studies late this year. Unfortunately there is no such chance there. All seminars are closed this year and the best chance is to start my studies in spring next year. That is to say I have to wait for at least half a year. And secondly is there a theological seminary that does not require language test, nor religious recommendations and with cheap costs? There are apparently some but very few. And you also need to take considerations of visa application complexities. On other hand, if I can find recommenders from churches, then there are plenty of chances to get theological studies with cheap rates and easy applications. But I am now living in a small village with no churches and I have been cut off from the ecclesiastic world since long, therefore I am not able to find pastors or elders to support my studies. Two weeks studies showed that I cannot refresh my applications for theological studies this time and instead I have to wait for some months.Like all other projects I've visited hundreds of websites and contacted hundreds of religious personnel for my inquiries. Apart from the theological studies plan, I have also been contacting the religious communities for a job, but for this the situation is even worse. I've contacted a dozen of them who are offering some jobs in their seminaries, but only 2 or 3 have sent me a reply, none offered me a position, although I was offering my linguistic and IT skills this time. These two are now my reserved expertise, while most, if not all, other skills are given up by me. I am quite frustrated by these religious organizations and vowed never to apply for jobs there anymore. My website www.angelia.space has not been updated for quite some time, therefore I've spent some efforts updating, mostly the modifications of the "knowledge base" section, the addition and expansion of the "news" section, the modification of the "operators" section and the updating of the "expertise" section. If you haven't visited this site over the last month, then you will be finding it quite different now. Even the "design" section is now expanded into "research and design" and this section will probably become the key contents of this site. Shortly after coming back from Daixi, I have received an inquiry about a modem purchasing from a South African satellite broadband provider. It was an encouraging movement of my business, for this signifies that my site and the related business have been caught by the industry and this site is indeed of great value. The SA company is talking with me about a business worth hundreds of millions of dollars. If it is successful, I will be able to run this business very smoothly. |
Sept 08 |
Since May 9 I haven't written my diary or rather I've completely forgotten that there is a diary to write at all. During that period of time I was undergoing some changes of career, where in late June I went to work for a small, private company located some 15 km from home, only to come back a month and a half later. Apart from the job opportunity which I will write more about there is also a potential career change where there were several theological study chances for me. First from a French seminary and then from a German seminary. Both have agreed to admit me into their program, but with a condition that I shall pass a German test from the German seminary. The French seminary on other hand did not require me to take a French test, but the French embassy in China needs such a test. I am reluctant to take any tests at all, therefore I have been seeking for seminaries and/or embassies that do not ask for a language test. It is hard to find them though. Nevertheless I have eventually a few theological seminaries and their embassies that don't require language tests, but all they admission deadlines are over, therefore there is now no way to get enrolled in a theological study this year. I've to wait for the spring semester at the earliest and very possibly I could only get admitted in the fall 2020 semester. Most seminaries require that I have church leaders to recommend my studies or even finance the studies. For this it is almost impossible, because I am now not in contact with any church here. I am living in a village without church. On other hand if I cannot get support from churches, I have to pay higher tuition's and fees for my studies. My website www.angelia.space begins to produce some useful feedback. Two weeks ago a South African satellite Internet provider has contacted me for providing the Internet access equipments - Indoor Units and Outdoor Units incl the modems, and the negotiation has lasted two weeks, but upto now there is no result. Apparently there is little chance to win such a big project where the SA company plans to provide services to 100 000 users. If that project is won, there will be orders in the amount of hundreds millions of USD. Yesterday my elder brother brought me some mid moon cake, and today my brother-in-law also gave me the moon cakes. Only then I have realized the traditional Chinese Mid Moon Festival is approaching. I don't want think about this and that festival, because they only remind the sad reality that my mother was gone 3.5 years ago. I cannot remind that fact because my tears cannot be refrained once my mother comes to my mind. The day of mid autumn festival also reminds me that autumn is there and the temperature will soon be dropping. I like summer not autumn, because in summer I can wear fewer and it;s also much easier to plan my life and to move around then in cold winter where one has to put on lots of clothes. That's for today. |