My Diaries |
(June 2018) |
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June 30 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 842 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4252 Days 天 |
昨晚梦见母亲。今天午睡时又梦见母亲。
全面恢复学习和研究，包括英语/德语/法语，IT和芯片研究（量子芯片）及芯片设计（卫星互联网modem）。但除了英语和量子芯片，其它都是可选的。
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June 27 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 839 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4249 Days 天 |
昨天散步到沿村是看见一个老太婆，弯腰驼背，好像骆驼一样，却还在种菜籽，劳作。我比她年轻，身体比她好，又有知识，能力，跟她相比，何止强千百倍，所以忧虑什么呢？
与量子芯片研究者的联系彻底结束，没有结果。
与芯片设计公司的联系同样。
与教会联系出国事情同样毫无结果，今后不再与教会联系，也不再去任何教会和宗教组织。
业务联系同样渺无音信。
学习和研究终止。
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June 23 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 835 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4245 Days 天 |
昨晚梦见与母亲一起吃饭，也梦见父亲。
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June 18 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 830 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4240 Days 天 |
今天据说是端午节，姐姐送来一些粽子。
昨天开始又跟基督教联系，但还是没有结果。基督教的冷酷算是再次领教了。
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June 15 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 827 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4237 Days 天 |
昨晚梦见母亲二三次，其实是今晨了，五点开始梦见目前，连续三次。梦中母亲大概50岁的样子，说腰疼，脚疼，很痛苦的样子。我看到了心痛不已，赶紧说去医院看，妹妹在边上，说不要紧，看过了，吃过药了。。。这个梦启示我母亲生前有许多病痛，很痛苦，可是并没有告诉我们，最后带着痛苦和遗憾而走了。他觉得我们都不关心她的疾病，不如死了好。生前曾说过身上到处是病的话。她就是嫌我们没有尽心尽力去照顾她，给她此病，包括后来耳朵聋了，没有人提起帮她去医治。母亲啊，我欠了你！我没有好好照顾你，我是个不肖子孙！
正如所料，跟所谓的教授们联系毫无结果。因此， 从今往后，一切以赚钱为主，学问放下再说，等钱这个问题解决了，回过头来再说。到那时，也许就根本不感兴趣了。
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June 14 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 826 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4236 Days 天 |
Sent dozens of emails to quantum researchers, none showed interest in my writing.
To emigrate out of China, there are only two possibilities: earn enough money or write a first rate paper or book in quantum computing. Both take time and efforts, no instant solution available, no one will help me except myself. But sooner or later I will escape from the hands of the Chinese communists.
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June 13 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 825 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4235 Days 天 |
Last night I have seen mother in my dreams.
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June 12 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 824 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4234 Days 天 |
During noon nap I have seen my mother in my dreams. The only time when I feel a little happy is when I dream of my mother, or I see a cat on the road of my walking.
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June 11 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 823 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4233 Days 天 |
I met my mother last night.
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June 10 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 822 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4232 Days 天 |
I met my mother last night.
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June 09 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 821 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4231 Days 天 |
Mother came to my dreams during the afternoon nap today.
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June 08 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 820 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4230 Days 天 |
I plan to write a book draft about superconducting qubits within next 3 months.
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June 07 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 819 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4229 Days 天 |
Today I've decided to focus on online payment for my future business in online finance.
And chip design will be slowed down, while chip research will be speeded up.
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June 06 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 818 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4228 Days 天 |
I have dreamed my mother last night, and several other close persons as well.
Rode bike to Donglin, talked with Zhenliang a bit, climbed the hills a dozen minutes, shopped a bit in a small supermarket and then back home.
It seemed going to Germany is a bad idea, my classmate there isn't willing to help. Therefore I have to seek other ways around. Of course there are always many ways out there if I really want to leave China for other countries. But it is really necessary to do so? For I also dislike almost all other countries - not just China - there are really almost no countries that I don't hate. In this case I have to adjust my strategies and philosophy, in order for me to live better. I will possible coop with CCP in the future.
So I have to decide if it is necessary to leave China at all. If it is still necessary then where and how.
Trust noone, rely on noone, but myself.
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June 05 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 817 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4227 Days 天 |
Mother came to my dreams last night.
How to earn quick and big money while keeping my studies and researches? Chip design and studies take me too much time - 3 hours a day at least, plus other studies, what's rest to do business is very limited. Moreover, when one concentrate on studies, one has less enthusiatism on money business.
On chip part, how can I promote my business, and my expertise? Can I work as a chip design in a German, American company? What is my level of chip design expertise, is it competitive enough?
How can I find a company, which will be interested in my expertise and in my design of modem IP core? Can I find one just by sending online forms and emails to unidentified chip companies? If not, where can I find those companies which are in need of my expertise and my specific design prototype?
And most importantly, how to start my business in online finance? Which part to do ? How to do it? Am I able to develop a web portal worth billions of dollars within 24 months?
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June 04 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 816 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4226 Days 天 |
Today is the 29th anniversary of the Tiananmen Massacre in 1989, where tens of thousands of students and citizens were slaughtered by tankers and fireguns of the Chinese communist military forces under their former dictator Deng Xiaoping. Remember this day and remember those killed during that terrible days and nights before after June 4, 1989. Ask GOOD to take avenge on those responsible for the massacre.
Software cracking will also be stopped. If no cracked software can be found, just ignore it and try to look for an alternative solution.
How to orient my life in the future? Research oriented or commercer oriented? I think money is the most important issue now, therefore it is better to focus on it for the time being, unless enough is earned. For the time being it is difficult to earn big enough money out of chip technology, therefore I think I shall quickly turn to finance business in order to earn enough money and then, it will be possible to continue with my researches and other important issues.
The next question will be: in which part of online finance to start with?
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June 03 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 815 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4225 Days 天 |
Mother appeared in my dreams last night.
It's time to quit China now, otherwise I am completely ruined.
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June 02 Mother Past Away 母亲去世 814 Days天 Father Gone 父亲去世 4224 Days 天 |
Continue the studies of quantum computer, but writing will be discontinued, at least for the time being.
Software cracking techniques will also be maintained, because I need to have a very good reserve of software for vlsi design, and not all of them are available to me free of charge and not all of them are able to obtain at reasonable costs.
My friend Xingfa 兴法 came to my lodging and has hade a long talk with me, informing me of some important development, incl. some dangerous rumours about my talks about XJP. I must take care not to talk with local people about politics, as China now is a very dangerous place to do so. Imagine a country where people can be jailed simply because they have said something about politics and politicians. Reserve these pleasure outside China, whenever there is a chance.
Now that all preparations are done - translation finished, chip preliminary design completed, studies and research plans reschduled, business scope revised, and the whole lifetime plan wholly amended and finalized - that is, everything else is prepared, and now what is left to me is to do strictly according to my plans and to realize is sooner or later. But the first step is to talk with some chip companies for possible cooperation, and then try to earn a billion USD within the next 20 months or so, before end 2019. This money, I need them to be used for the writing of mother's biography, building of her momorial halls and shooting of her movies and various worshipping and momorials activities anf events. This money is also needed to support my friends who have helped me in the past, especially in time of my misery and hardship.
And I need much much more financial means and power to realize my other equally important goals.
But now, how to earn a billion in next 20 months, or 600 days?
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June 01 母亲去世 813天 父亲去世 4223天 |
昨晚梦见母亲。
软件破解的学习也暂停，除非需要实际破解软件。
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